Why the Church is Against the RH Bill

(A statement from a retard who's not even affiliated  with the church)


The Bible.

That should be the end but just for the heck of it, let's dig a little deeper and hopefully, get a result that is illogical and unreasonable... hey, that's just like every statement that came from the church. Alright! We're on the right track here. Ok, let's start.

The bible is the walkthrough of the Catholic Church. It contains general rules on how to live, cheatcodes, and tips on how to molest young boys without getting caught... wait, I think I'm reading the wrong bible. But the bible for the Catholic Church is much more than that; for them, the bible contains the secret to an everlasting, happy life. Plus, add the fact that the words written on it were inspired by an all-knowing, all-powerful but probably fictional entity; and from a guy who's so manly, he can sport an abs that looks like a giant boner.

So it's no wonder the Catholic Church stands by every word the bible says... most of it anyway. They have the tendency to overlook, or in the case of the RH Bill, fixate on certain details, whenever the situation demands it. But let's stop talking about the bible because no matter what contrary evidence we present, as long as the bible says something about it, then the Catholic Church would surely stand with the bible. No questions asked.

Let's focus instead on the Catholic Church itself. This way, I could make slanderous statements without angering the dude upstairs, or the dick-abs sporting man. I mean, what's the worst thing that the church could do to me? Excommunicate me? Run me over with the pope mobile? Good luck with that.

So now, here is the main point of this statement. The Catholic Church is against the RH Bill because they want the Philippines to be overpopulated. Now why would I say such a malicious statement, aside from the fact that I have nothing better to do. Because a very huge population would be very beneficial to the Catholic Church... oooooh, I smell a conspiracy. Right now, despite the high poverty rate, that church remains insignificant, save for a handful of people. If there are more people in the country, poverty rate would skyrocket, and those people would look for a temporary sanctuary where they could get even just a little hope. And where would they find it? The Catholic Church. The church would have more souls to save, and they would be significant again to society. But the RH Bill is standing on they way of the resurrection of the church. That's why they're doing everything to stop this evil bill that has the potential to stop their grand scheme.

Plus, more people means more young boys to molest. *ba-du-bum-ching!*

>:)