Hello you, I want to play a game. Throughout your whole life, you've made insignificant, meaningless decisions without any thoughts of their consequences. Now, I'm giving you a choice; a choice that would determine the future of the human race. The world now is now a nuclear wasteland; everybody is dead except for 16 people. There is a way to continue the human race; by living in a bunker until the radiation on the surface of the earth lowers. But there's a slight catch, only seven people would fit inside the bunker; the other nine would be left outside to die. Below is the list of the survivors; your task is to pick the seven people who would live inside the bunker.
1. A priest and theologian with AIDS
2. A lesbian yoga instructor
3. An impotent man and his son
4. A female doctor with drug problems
5. A male civil engineer with a history of mental instability
6. A female chemist who was responsible for the end of the world
7. A Hollywood actress
8. A male carpenter who murdered his whole family
9. A female mathematician and physicist who's a paraplegic
10. A male industrial engineer who's part of al-Queda
11. A female blind tailor
12. A gay but charismatic politician
13. A female high school teacher with breast cancer
14. A male corrupt lawyer
15. A female farmer who has an ovarian cancer
16. The Pope
Choose wisely because if you don't, it would spell the end of the human race. Let the games begin.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Paglaki Ko, Gusto Kong Maging Isang… Pusa!
Paglaki Ko, Gusto Kong Maging Isang… Pusa!
Habang abala ang karamihan sa mga tao sa paghahanap ng kumpanya na mapapasukan para sa kanilang OJT o kaya naman para sa kanilang pinakaunang trabaho, nandito ako nagsasayang ng oras sa pag-iisip kung papaano matutupad ang pangarap ko na kanina ko lang ginusto – kung papaano maging isang pusa. Ganito kasi yung nangyari; habang hinihintay ko ang mga ka-grupo ko para sa gagawin naming interview (na wala din namang nangyari kundi paglilibot sa eskwelahan at pagkakaroon ng isang libreng handbook… may nakuha kaming libre? Ayus na pala yun), naisipan kong umupo sa isang bench na malapit sa lugar na pagtatagpuan namin. Sa harap ng bench na inuupuan ko ay may isang pusang sarap na sarap sa tulog niya. Inggit na inggit ako; muntik ko na ngang gisingin yung pusa dahil sa inggit pero di ko na ginawa dahil ayokong magulpi ng isang pusa. Sobrang nakakahiya nun; kung dinosaur pwede pa pero pusa, ayoko nun tsong. At dahil dun… wala na kong maisip na iba pang dahilan; gusto ko lang talaga na matulog kahit anong oras at kahit saan. Kaya gusto kong maging isang pusa. Wow ang astig, wala pa akong nasusulat na bastos kahit na kanina ko pa naisusulat ang salitang pusa; buti na lang hindi sa English ko isinulat to kundi sa title pa lang ay may bastos na agad akong nasabi.
Patalastas muna, marahil nagtataka ka kung bakit may pusa sa paaralan namin. Normal na ang mga pusa sa paaralan namin. At hindi lang pusa ang makikita sa eskwelahan namin. Mayroon ding mga ibon, paru-paro, palaka, butete (tadpole, mas masaya lang pakinggan ang salitang butete. Hindi pa counted yan na bastos), at sa tingin ko may ahas din dahil dapat matagal nang sinakop ng mga palaka ang Ateneo kung walang kumakain sa kanila. Mayroon ding mga Ninja Turtles at si Master Splinter; pero sa pagkakaalam ko na evict na sila dahil di sila bagay sa bagong library. Hindi daw pwedeng pumasok sa lib ang mga hindi nakasapatos. Ay oo nga pala, mayroon ding mga kuneho pero nakakulong lang sila. Walang eagle sa eskwelahan, pauso lang yung blue eagle. At sa pagkakaalam ko ay may mga tao din sa eskwelahan. Ayan, balik tayo sa regular na programa.
Gusto kong maging pusa (ang sama ng tingin sa kin ni Dog ngayon), dahil ang sarap ng buhay nila. Patulog-tulog lang kahit saan at kahit na anong oras. Kung magutom man ay nandyan lang ang cafeteria (nami-miss ko na ang salitang canteen) o kaya naman ay magpapa-sweet sa mga estudyante para makahingi ng pagkain. Kung mabagot, nandyan ang 3rd at 4th floor ng bagong lib para masurf ng net. Pwede ring magpatalbog-talbog ng mga pebbles sa Zen Garden. At kung di pa rin mawala ang pagkabagot, nandyan pa naman ang mga estudyante para kagatin at mga sangkatutak na libro para – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Kung gustong uminom ng alak, punta lang sa Cantina at Coastnet; wag na sa Drews, madumi daw dun. At kung gusto naman ng yosi ay nandyan lang ang mga smocket para makakuha ng second hand smoke. Di ba, ang saya ng buhay ng mga pusa. Walang kaproble-problema. Kumpleto na sila sa mga kailangan nila sa buhay. At kung di pa rin naman kuntento sa mga pangunahing pangangailangan ay pwedeng pwedeng holdapin ang mga estudyante. Ang sarap maging pusa! (sorry na Dog).
Habang abala ang karamihan sa mga tao sa paghahanap ng kumpanya na mapapasukan para sa kanilang OJT o kaya naman para sa kanilang pinakaunang trabaho, nandito ako nagsasayang ng oras sa pag-iisip kung papaano matutupad ang pangarap ko na kanina ko lang ginusto – kung papaano maging isang pusa. Ganito kasi yung nangyari; habang hinihintay ko ang mga ka-grupo ko para sa gagawin naming interview (na wala din namang nangyari kundi paglilibot sa eskwelahan at pagkakaroon ng isang libreng handbook… may nakuha kaming libre? Ayus na pala yun), naisipan kong umupo sa isang bench na malapit sa lugar na pagtatagpuan namin. Sa harap ng bench na inuupuan ko ay may isang pusang sarap na sarap sa tulog niya. Inggit na inggit ako; muntik ko na ngang gisingin yung pusa dahil sa inggit pero di ko na ginawa dahil ayokong magulpi ng isang pusa. Sobrang nakakahiya nun; kung dinosaur pwede pa pero pusa, ayoko nun tsong. At dahil dun… wala na kong maisip na iba pang dahilan; gusto ko lang talaga na matulog kahit anong oras at kahit saan. Kaya gusto kong maging isang pusa. Wow ang astig, wala pa akong nasusulat na bastos kahit na kanina ko pa naisusulat ang salitang pusa; buti na lang hindi sa English ko isinulat to kundi sa title pa lang ay may bastos na agad akong nasabi.
Patalastas muna, marahil nagtataka ka kung bakit may pusa sa paaralan namin. Normal na ang mga pusa sa paaralan namin. At hindi lang pusa ang makikita sa eskwelahan namin. Mayroon ding mga ibon, paru-paro, palaka, butete (tadpole, mas masaya lang pakinggan ang salitang butete. Hindi pa counted yan na bastos), at sa tingin ko may ahas din dahil dapat matagal nang sinakop ng mga palaka ang Ateneo kung walang kumakain sa kanila. Mayroon ding mga Ninja Turtles at si Master Splinter; pero sa pagkakaalam ko na evict na sila dahil di sila bagay sa bagong library. Hindi daw pwedeng pumasok sa lib ang mga hindi nakasapatos. Ay oo nga pala, mayroon ding mga kuneho pero nakakulong lang sila. Walang eagle sa eskwelahan, pauso lang yung blue eagle. At sa pagkakaalam ko ay may mga tao din sa eskwelahan. Ayan, balik tayo sa regular na programa.
Gusto kong maging pusa (ang sama ng tingin sa kin ni Dog ngayon), dahil ang sarap ng buhay nila. Patulog-tulog lang kahit saan at kahit na anong oras. Kung magutom man ay nandyan lang ang cafeteria (nami-miss ko na ang salitang canteen) o kaya naman ay magpapa-sweet sa mga estudyante para makahingi ng pagkain. Kung mabagot, nandyan ang 3rd at 4th floor ng bagong lib para masurf ng net. Pwede ring magpatalbog-talbog ng mga pebbles sa Zen Garden. At kung di pa rin mawala ang pagkabagot, nandyan pa naman ang mga estudyante para kagatin at mga sangkatutak na libro para – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Kung gustong uminom ng alak, punta lang sa Cantina at Coastnet; wag na sa Drews, madumi daw dun. At kung gusto naman ng yosi ay nandyan lang ang mga smocket para makakuha ng second hand smoke. Di ba, ang saya ng buhay ng mga pusa. Walang kaproble-problema. Kumpleto na sila sa mga kailangan nila sa buhay. At kung di pa rin naman kuntento sa mga pangunahing pangangailangan ay pwedeng pwedeng holdapin ang mga estudyante. Ang sarap maging pusa! (sorry na Dog).
Thursday, January 21, 2010
An Awesome Subject (Syllabus Collaboration)
AF 101: “Art” Film Appreciation
Course Syllabus
1st Semester, SY 2010
Francis Underwood C. King, ME
Sebastian E. Xavier, PhD
Course Description
“Art” Film Appreciation is the critical approach in viewing “art” films. Basically, what this course intends to do is open the mind of students when it comes to “art” films. Students will be equipped with the necessary knowledge, skills, and tools (hehehehehe) in understanding and analyzing “art” films. It also aims to teach students the methods and techniques in making/producing “art” films.
Course Objectives
At the end of the semester, the students should be able to:
1. Differentiate the principles and techniques presented by the Western and Eastern “art” films
2. Develop critical and analytical thinking when viewing “art” films
3. Analyze literary elements presented by such films (if there are any)
4. View “art” films as a respectable and profitable genre in cinema
5. View “art” films as more than just a form of entertainment; but as a work of art as well
6. Apply “art” films in everyday life
Course Contents
· Introduction to “art” films
· History of “art” films
o The first “art” film
o Censorship (bastards)
o Effects of “art” films in mainstream cinema and culture
· Western “art” films
o American
o European
· Eastern “art” films
o Japanese
o Bomba Films
· “Art” film animations
o Western
o Eastern
· Application of “art” films in everyday life
Course Outline and Timeframe
Date | Activity |
Week 1 | Class orientation Getting to know the class Expectation Setting Checking of “potentials” |
Week 2 | Discussion of course requirements Grouping for the final project |
Week 3 | What is “Art” Film 101 The current state of “art” films |
Week 4 | History of “art” films Evolution of “art” films through years |
Week 5 | Censorship (bastards) Current laws regarding “art” films |
Week 6 | Effects of “art” films in mainstream cinema and culture Different perspectives on “art” films |
Week 7 | Long Test 1 |
Week 8 | American “art” films Techniques and methods of American “art” films Production companies, organizations, and conventions Icons in Western “art” films |
Week 9 | European “art” films Techniques and methods of European “art” films Amsterdam Icons in European “art” films |
Week 10 | Long Test 2 |
Week 11 | Japanese “art” films Techniques and methods of Japanese “art” films Peculiar censorship of Japanese “art” films Icons in Japanese “art” films |
Week 12 | Filipino “art” films Techniques and methods of Filipino “art” films Bomba tapes during the martial law era Icons in Filipino “art” films |
Week 13 | Long Test 3 |
Week 14 | Western “art” film animation |
Week 15 | Eastern “art” film animation |
Week 16 | Application of “art” films |
Week 17 | Synthesis of lessons Consulation for the final project |
Week 18 | Final Exam |
Course References
Moore, A. (2006). Lost Girls. Georgia: Top Shelf Productions
Jameson, J. and Strauss, N. (2004). How to Make Love Like a Pornstar: A Cautionary Tale. New York: ReganBooks.
THE INTERNET
Other additional materials “provided” by the instructors
Course Requirements
Major Exams: 4 Long Tests = 40%
Major Papers: 4 Review Papers = 20%
Assignments and Class Participation = 10%
Group Project: Homemade Film (Giggity, giggity, goo!) = 30%
Grading System
A = 92% and above
B+ = 87 - 91
B = 83 - 86
C+ = 79 - 82
C = 75 - 78
D = 70 - 74
F = below 70%
W = more than 3 cuts
K (kickout) = no final project
Classroom Policies
1. 3 lates will be considered as 1 cut
2. Students are only allowed a maximum of 3 cuts
3. Submit a 2x2 picture by the 2nd meeting
4. Bring their own laptop to class
5. Must have a good internet connection and a functional browser
6. Must have a credit card account
7. Students must bring a DVD of their choice every meeting for show and tell
8. Use of cellular phones are only allowed for transfer of data
9. BYOT – Bring Your Own Tissue
10. Clean the mess before leaving the classroom
Class Hours
Every Friday, 6 – 9 PM
Consultation Hours
Anytime as long as you make an appointment. If you really need to consult and you don’t have an appointment, just bring something new to show us; that would serve as your password. No, you cannot contact us.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Voice Of God: Auto Tune
The auto tune is one heck of a device that grants a gashitload of powers to anyone who wields it. What’s even more awesome (or alarming) is that anyone can obtain and use it. But as always, as our very emo neighbor Spiderman’s uncle puts it, “with great power comes great responsibility.” I’m not going to discuss the moral implications of using this device; that would be really boring, plus I would have to criticize a magnitude of musicians (just listing them would take years). What I’m going to do instead is to suggest ways on how to use this device responsibly.
Let’s discuss music so it’s out of the way already. In my opinion, the only musicians who should be allowed to use auto tunes are metal bands. Yep, you’ve heard it right. Only metal bands should be allowed to use auto tunes. Other musicians use auto tunes because they can’t sing for shit. But imagine the sound of growl in auto tune. That would really rock – Jetson’s style.
Next up is Stephen Hawking. He’s the guy in a wheelchair. Not ringing any bells? He’s the guy who has to type whatever he has to say then his voice would come out robotic. Now I know we’re not supposed to make fun of people with handicaps (except for GMA’s case, she’s a fucking midget with a malevolent mole; oh wait, I keep on forgetting she’s a garden gnome, and that’s not a disability at all), but imagine his robotic voice in auto tune. Futuristic voice times two! Now that’s some really high tech shit.
The man of the blog: Alan Rickman. He’s the voice of God in Dogma (if you haven’t watched it yet, watch it now – twice) or the antagonist in Sweeney Todd. And he’s also Snape. Imagine having a voice so awesome, you were chosen to play as the voice of God. Now put that voice in auto tune (but not his role in Sweeney Todd, that would make the movie a little comedic). God’s voice alone is so powerful; it would make your head explode just by hearing it. Then add the power of auto tune. Holy shit, I can’t even comprehend the power of that voice.
How about a priest giving a homily? Attendance in churches has been in a steady decline (that would change though in 2012, gullible crammers would surely flock churches). But I think I’ve found a solution to their problem; a way to increase their flock. Although a slight problem might occur by following my advice, the church might lose some of their regular customers. But hey, if their regular customer’s faith is really genuine and strong, I’m sure they won’t mind my proposition. And the solution I’m talking about is giving priests auto tunes to use for their homily. A lot of teenagers today have crappy tastes in music. The church should exploit this sad fact.
Last one; now this would be a scary situation but also kind of intriguing. What if everyone uses auto tune? We don’t have to wait for 2012 for the end of the world; this would trigger the rapture.
Let’s discuss music so it’s out of the way already. In my opinion, the only musicians who should be allowed to use auto tunes are metal bands. Yep, you’ve heard it right. Only metal bands should be allowed to use auto tunes. Other musicians use auto tunes because they can’t sing for shit. But imagine the sound of growl in auto tune. That would really rock – Jetson’s style.
Next up is Stephen Hawking. He’s the guy in a wheelchair. Not ringing any bells? He’s the guy who has to type whatever he has to say then his voice would come out robotic. Now I know we’re not supposed to make fun of people with handicaps (except for GMA’s case, she’s a fucking midget with a malevolent mole; oh wait, I keep on forgetting she’s a garden gnome, and that’s not a disability at all), but imagine his robotic voice in auto tune. Futuristic voice times two! Now that’s some really high tech shit.
The man of the blog: Alan Rickman. He’s the voice of God in Dogma (if you haven’t watched it yet, watch it now – twice) or the antagonist in Sweeney Todd. And he’s also Snape. Imagine having a voice so awesome, you were chosen to play as the voice of God. Now put that voice in auto tune (but not his role in Sweeney Todd, that would make the movie a little comedic). God’s voice alone is so powerful; it would make your head explode just by hearing it. Then add the power of auto tune. Holy shit, I can’t even comprehend the power of that voice.
How about a priest giving a homily? Attendance in churches has been in a steady decline (that would change though in 2012, gullible crammers would surely flock churches). But I think I’ve found a solution to their problem; a way to increase their flock. Although a slight problem might occur by following my advice, the church might lose some of their regular customers. But hey, if their regular customer’s faith is really genuine and strong, I’m sure they won’t mind my proposition. And the solution I’m talking about is giving priests auto tunes to use for their homily. A lot of teenagers today have crappy tastes in music. The church should exploit this sad fact.
Last one; now this would be a scary situation but also kind of intriguing. What if everyone uses auto tune? We don’t have to wait for 2012 for the end of the world; this would trigger the rapture.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Joker Taking a Philosophy Oral Exam
(Joker comes inside the room, 30 minutes late)
Joker: I made it! Good afternoon gentleman. I am today's entertainment. I only have one question: where is Harvey Dent?
Prof: Harvey Dent? There's no Harvey Dent in the Philosophy department. I'll be handling your exam for today. Please sit down.
Joker: (finally notices the prof after looking around the room for almost a minute) Well hello beautiful.
Prof: You're 30 minutes late. You come in a mess and wearing a silly suit. Why are you late?
Joker: Me? I was right here. And about the suit, it wasn't cheap. You ought to know, you bought it.
Prof: (just looks at Joker)
Joker: Oh, you wanna know how I got these scars. My father was a drinker and a fiend. One night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not one bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and he says: "Why so serious son?" He comes at me with the knife; "Why so serious son?!" He sticks the blade in my mouth; "Let's put a smile on that face!"
Prof: (frowns) Just start.
Joker: Why so serious?
Prof: Start now!
Joker: I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit. The police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring.
Prof: I'm not asking about your visions. You're supposed to explain the thesis statement.
Joker: I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.
Prof: (slams his fist at the table) That's not related to the thesis statement!
Joker: A little fight in you. I like that.
Prof: (finally explodes and begin to curse Joker for not taking the test seriously)
Joker: You know, you remind me of my father. I hated my father!
(The professor then realizes that shouting and making Joker leave the room won't do any good. So he begins a very long sermon, hoping that some of the things he will say would get to Joker)
Joker: (becomes bored and decides to leave the room)
Prof: Oh, you're not getting off easily. We're going consume all the time allotted for your exam. That way, you can learn your lesson.
Joker: Ugh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Prof: No, that's not the case. This is your punishment. You will listen to me until your 15 minutes are over.
Joker: How about a magic trick? I'm going to make this pencil disappear.
Prof: (ignores Joker and continues his sermon)
(The bell started to ring)
Prof: Ok, time's up. You may leave.
Joker: (still setting up his pencil magic trick) Arrrgh! Could you please give me a minute.
Prof: No, I think that sermon was enough. If you have any plans of passing this subject and staying in this school, I suggest you shape up.
Joker: Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just do things.
Prof: (realizes none of the things he said go to the Joker) Get out! I don't want to see your face in my class anymore!
(Joker opens his suit and shows a bunch of grenades)
Joker: Ah, ah. Let's not blow this out of proportion
Prof: *stammering* Ok, ok. You get and A for your final grade. Just don't remove any of the safety pins, I don't wanna die.
Joker: (turns to the prof before leaving the room) What happened? Did your balls drop off? Hmmmm?
Prof: (still ashen and scared to death)
Joker: I won't kill you. What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, no! You... complete me. And you're just too much fun!
The End.
*And that's how you get an A in Oral Exams (no sexual euphemism here)*
Joker: I made it! Good afternoon gentleman. I am today's entertainment. I only have one question: where is Harvey Dent?
Prof: Harvey Dent? There's no Harvey Dent in the Philosophy department. I'll be handling your exam for today. Please sit down.
Joker: (finally notices the prof after looking around the room for almost a minute) Well hello beautiful.
Prof: You're 30 minutes late. You come in a mess and wearing a silly suit. Why are you late?
Joker: Me? I was right here. And about the suit, it wasn't cheap. You ought to know, you bought it.
Prof: (just looks at Joker)
Joker: Oh, you wanna know how I got these scars. My father was a drinker and a fiend. One night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not one bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and he says: "Why so serious son?" He comes at me with the knife; "Why so serious son?!" He sticks the blade in my mouth; "Let's put a smile on that face!"
Prof: (frowns) Just start.
Joker: Why so serious?
Prof: Start now!
Joker: I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit. The police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring.
Prof: I'm not asking about your visions. You're supposed to explain the thesis statement.
Joker: I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.
Prof: (slams his fist at the table) That's not related to the thesis statement!
Joker: A little fight in you. I like that.
Prof: (finally explodes and begin to curse Joker for not taking the test seriously)
Joker: You know, you remind me of my father. I hated my father!
(The professor then realizes that shouting and making Joker leave the room won't do any good. So he begins a very long sermon, hoping that some of the things he will say would get to Joker)
Joker: (becomes bored and decides to leave the room)
Prof: Oh, you're not getting off easily. We're going consume all the time allotted for your exam. That way, you can learn your lesson.
Joker: Ugh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Prof: No, that's not the case. This is your punishment. You will listen to me until your 15 minutes are over.
Joker: How about a magic trick? I'm going to make this pencil disappear.
Prof: (ignores Joker and continues his sermon)
(The bell started to ring)
Prof: Ok, time's up. You may leave.
Joker: (still setting up his pencil magic trick) Arrrgh! Could you please give me a minute.
Prof: No, I think that sermon was enough. If you have any plans of passing this subject and staying in this school, I suggest you shape up.
Joker: Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just do things.
Prof: (realizes none of the things he said go to the Joker) Get out! I don't want to see your face in my class anymore!
(Joker opens his suit and shows a bunch of grenades)
Joker: Ah, ah. Let's not blow this out of proportion
Prof: *stammering* Ok, ok. You get and A for your final grade. Just don't remove any of the safety pins, I don't wanna die.
Joker: (turns to the prof before leaving the room) What happened? Did your balls drop off? Hmmmm?
Prof: (still ashen and scared to death)
Joker: I won't kill you. What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, no! You... complete me. And you're just too much fun!
The End.
*And that's how you get an A in Oral Exams (no sexual euphemism here)*
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