Monday, January 11, 2010

The Joker Taking a Philosophy Oral Exam

(Joker comes inside the room, 30 minutes late)


Joker: I made it! Good afternoon gentleman. I am today's entertainment. I only have one question: where is Harvey Dent?

Prof: Harvey Dent? There's no Harvey Dent in the Philosophy department. I'll be handling your exam for today. Please sit down.

Joker: (finally notices the prof after looking around the room for almost a minute) Well hello beautiful.

Prof: You're 30 minutes late. You come in a mess and wearing a silly suit. Why are you late?

Joker: Me? I was right here. And about the suit, it wasn't cheap. You ought to know, you bought it.

Prof: (just looks at Joker)

Joker: Oh, you wanna know how I got these scars. My father was a drinker and a fiend. One night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not one bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and he says: "Why so serious son?" He comes at me with the knife; "Why so serious son?!" He sticks the blade in my mouth; "Let's put a smile on that face!"

Prof: (frowns) Just start.

Joker: Why so serious?

Prof: Start now!

Joker: I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit. The police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring.

Prof: I'm not asking about your visions. You're supposed to explain the thesis statement.

Joker: I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.

Prof: (slams his fist at the table) That's not related to the thesis statement!

Joker: A little fight in you. I like that.

Prof: (finally explodes and begin to curse Joker for not taking the test seriously)

Joker: You know, you remind me of my father. I hated my father!


(The professor then realizes that shouting and making Joker leave the room won't do any good. So he begins a very long sermon, hoping that some of the things he will say would get to Joker)


Joker: (becomes bored and decides to leave the room)

Prof: Oh, you're not getting off easily. We're going consume all the time allotted for your exam. That way, you can learn your lesson.

Joker: Ugh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.

Prof: No, that's not the case. This is your punishment. You will listen to me until your 15 minutes are over.

Joker: How about a magic trick? I'm going to make this pencil disappear.

Prof: (ignores Joker and continues his sermon)


(The bell started to ring)


Prof: Ok, time's up. You may leave.

Joker: (still setting up his pencil magic trick) Arrrgh! Could you please give me a minute.

Prof: No, I think that sermon was enough. If you have any plans of passing this subject and staying in this school, I suggest you shape up.

Joker: Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just do things.

Prof: (realizes none of the things he said go to the Joker) Get out! I don't want to see your face in my class anymore!


(Joker opens his suit and shows a bunch of grenades)


Joker: Ah, ah. Let's not blow this out of proportion

Prof: *stammering* Ok, ok. You get and A for your final grade. Just don't remove any of the safety pins, I don't wanna die.

Joker: (turns to the prof before leaving the room) What happened? Did your balls drop off? Hmmmm?

Prof: (still ashen and scared to death)

Joker: I won't kill you. What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, no! You... complete me. And you're just too much fun!



The End.












*And that's how you get an A in Oral Exams (no sexual euphemism here)*

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